Top Ten Employee Rules

Since it is ridiculously depressing, I can't have my last entry be at the top of the page so here is another list:

Top Ten Employee Rules

1) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
2) If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
3) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
4) For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
5) Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
6) Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
7) To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
8) The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
9) Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10) If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.