Sunday, June 01, 2008

Best "Out of Office" Automatic e-mail Replies

Someone sent me these a while ago. I laughed out loud while reading most of them. I hope you enjoy:
  • I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

  • You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

  • Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

  • I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

  • Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

  • The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

  • Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

  • Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

  • I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

  • I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

  • I've run away to join a different circus.

  • I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Bob.'
My personal favorites are the ones about management and the circus.

1 comment:

Deanne said...

Keep up the good work.