Secrets

The latest topic in a few HR blogs is whether to blog anonymously or with your name right out there. Of course I am anonymous because the content of my blog would get me fired or at least destroy any hope I have of ruling the HR world.

Anyway, here are a few things I do in my efforts to stay under the radar:

I wear a pair of pantyhose over my head when I blog to avoid being recognized. Do you believe that? I worry about you if you do. You might be as stupid as some of my coworkers if you were buying it.

I don't use my name. Believe it or not, people don't really call me Ms. Pink Slip. I may be called names other than my own but I can't speculate.

I don't mention my location. For all anyone knows, I could be blogging from a bunker in Montana. I actually use AOL when reading other blogs because AOL's browser shows AOL's server location, not mine. I realize this may be a little paranoid but I didn't bust my ass in graduate school to screw it up online. I laugh at such employees while handling their dismissals.

I change little details in my stories. The seashells weren't really seashells but the rest is fairly accurate. The general idea is accurate and that is what matters. I have asked a couple of my coworkers who read my blog if I captured the essence of the moment and they agreed.

I don't discuss my personal life. No one cares and I don't feel comfortable blogging about my friends and family. They also have enough stories to be the source of another ranting blog but I have to draw the line somewhere.

No one would believe I would blog about my job. While I am not a certifiable Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I definitely have a work persona. At work, I am patient, professional, and competent. While people with those traits can and do blog, it's the lunatics who make it obvious who get in hot water. Nude photos, stories about the CEO, etc. I don't go that far. Well, unless someone wants a nude photo. A photo of me with the CEO? Nude? Anyone? I didn't think so.

I approve comments before they are published. My worst nightmare would be to log on and see, "Hey (insert my name), wait until the CEO at (insert company) sees this. " I realize the chances of this are equal to me getting struck by lightning but I have that kind of luck.

So, if I get struck by lightning and someone meaningful (i.e., possesses the ability to fire me or generally make my life a living hell) realizes this blog is mine, what will I do?

Nothing.

As any solid HR professional knows, without proof you can't do anything. Come to think of it, even with proof employees don't get fired. Blackmail? That's where the nude photos come in.